 | Early Modern Center English Ballad Archive, 1500 - 1800 |
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A merry new catch of all Trades. To the tune of The cleane Contrary way. |
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ALL Trades are not alike in show All Arts doe not agree: All Occupations gaines are small, As heere they all shall see, As heere they all shall see. The Courtier woes, his servant does, Farre more then he can answer, The Baker weighes with false essayes, The Cuckold's turn'd a Monster. The Cuck. etc. The Taylor sowes, the Smith he blowes, The Tinker beates his pan: The Pewterer ranke, cries tinke a tanke tanke, The Apothecary ranta tan tan. The Apoth: etc. The Bricklayer high doth rise to flye, The Plummer oft doth melt, The Carpenter doth love his rule, And the Hatmakar loves his felt. And the, etc. The Weaver thumps, his olde wife mumps, The Barber goes snip snap, The Butcher prickes, the Tapster nickes, The Farmer stops a[g]ap. The Farmer, etc. The Curryer toyles, and deales in oyles, The Cobler lives by his peece: The Chamberlaine cheates with musty meates, And doth the Countrey fleece. And doth, etc. The Carter whips, the Begger ships, The Beadle lives by blowes, Yet whores wil be whores at honest mens doores Disphight a'th Beadles nose. Dispight a'th, etc. The Broome man cryes, mayd servants buyes, And swaps with him for wares, The Countrey asse doth to the Cosse, Sell Orchards full of Peares. Sell, etc. Some Schoole-masters teach beyond their reach, The Mason deales with his square, The Fletcher doth nock, and workes by the clock, The Beareward lives by his Beare. The, etc. The Grosers pates 'bout thinges of weight, Is often troubled sore, The Taylors yard is seldome marde, Tho it measure many a score. Tho it measure many a score. The second part. To the same Tune THe Iron-monger hardly deales, All Fruterers loose by'th rot: The Hagler buyes and lives by lyes, The Drunkard plyes the pot. The Drunkard plyes the pot. The Collier sweares heele loose his eares, But he will falsly deale: And such are glad as mand the Pad, For trifles for to steale. For trifles, etc. The Budget-maker oftentimes, Doe deale in brasen nayles: And Tradesmen store, turne Porters poore, When other trading failes. When other, etc. The Water-man will carry Nan, For two-pence crosse the River: Yet this heele say, if she cannot pay, Her passage free heele give her. Her passage, etc. The Glover pokes, the Gallant smoakes, Yet lives in Tradesmen debts, The Drawer thrives by honest wives, The Cheater lives by bets. The Cheater, etc. The Cooke doth broyle, the Fencer foyle, The footman he doth sweat: And Apple-John doth usher Nan, And she gives him a heate. And she, etc. The Ostler rubs, the Cutler scrubs, The Semsters deale in Ruffes: The smoakie man with his small cole pan, Maintained is by puffes. Maintained is, etc. The Chandelors deeds great pennance needs, And Faggots they doe beare: The Vintner draines, yet makes no frayes, The Begger is voyde of care. The Begger, etc The Morris dance doth bravely prance, And about the Countrey goes: And May-poles hie shall mount to the' skie, Despight of the Hobby horse nose. Despight, etc Dissentions seede, the Parators neede, And Scoulds him money give: And if there were no swaggering Whore, The Pander could not live. The Pander, etc. Thus all arise by contraries, Heaven send them crosses ten: Unlesse they all both great and small, Doe live and dye honest men. Doe live and dye honest men. FINIS. Printed at London for . I. Trundle |